My children are 7 and 9. Every other weekend when they stay with their dad they call me crying, wanting to come home. He won't let me come get them, he just yells at them to stop crying. Often I have to try to persuade my daughter to go. She will hide so I can't take her and cry inconsolably to the point she is hyperventilating. It's heartbreaking, and seemingly cruel to make them go. Legally he has them every other weekend, but can they make the decision not to go?
Answer
You are in a delete care situation. If the children continue to show reluctance to be with their father, you may be suspect. The doctrine of alienation of affection, is how mothers lose custody, and begin paying child support, where previously they were the recipient.
Once the children turn 13, they can begin having some say in where they like he and when they visit. If a child appears to be avoiding the noncustodial parent, prior to 13, the custodial parents comments and actions can come under scrutiny. Be very careful what you say or do around your children. An offhand comment about their father, or about the vusitation Order may be used against you.
If you suspect that the father is abusing the children, you should seek to have it investigated. Otherwise, ignore any urge to interrogate th children about what they while at their father's home. It is viewed as not being your business, and sometimes assumed to be an effort to alienate the children from their father.
Good luck
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