I want to move out of state with my child. I've been told to leave before any custody orders are in place but I don't want to get into any t...

Question

I want to move out of state with my child. I've been told to leave before any custody orders are in place but I don't want to get into any trouble if I do that. This is the situation. Dated my ex boyfriend for 5 years but never lived together. I was emotional abused most of that time we were together and I have recently sought out counseling to deal with the emotional scars it has left me with. He is the father of my child and listed on the birth certificate. He visits the child but only at the request of others. He has never asked to visit the child. He continues to harrass me via text and soical media. I have requested numerous times that contact be made through a third person for any arrangements and questions he may have about my child. All contact he makes doesn't pertain to my child but is about our past relationship and I have tried to make very clear I will not be returning to him. I appreciate any comments regarding what I should do. I want to do this the right way and be able to leave the state free and clear with my child.

Answer

If you leave the state without notifying him and getting his agreement you risk a charge of custodial interference (felony fourth), assuming he can show that he has a right to custody.

I suggest that you save yourself and the child a lot of potential trouble in the future by initiating a paternity action. The court will determine who the father is, make a decision on custody, and probably order child support. See a lawyer for this. The downside is that if he gets partial custody then you have to negotiate with him leaving the state or get a court order allowing you to leave. But this is the way to get "free and clear," in my view.

You would take a big risk if you leave the state and then file a paternity/custody action in the next state after six months residency there, but you would be risking the charge I mentioned above.

If he is harassing you, you can get a restraining order, just go down to the courthouse in your county and ask the clerk.. The use of electronic media to harass could fall under the New Mexico criminal code, Article 30-3A-2, Harassment, a misdemeanor, you could go to the police and complain. There is not yet a cyber harassment statute in New Mexico but I see no reason you couldn't get charges under the cited statute. There is also federal law that makes it illegal to use a telecommunications device for harassment. Another suggestion is to complain to the social media involved about the harassment and ask them to block him. Save all the harassing messages for evidence, and take them with you when you ask for the restraining order. And be sure to tell him in no uncertain terms to stop sending you these messages or you will take legal action.